I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
