Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
