I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
