Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
