the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
