just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
These tits shall not be calmed
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize