When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
