why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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