Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Even my vagina gasped.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
