I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I wish i was in the wii world.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Can I color on your dick again?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
