he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
