i would punch a child for taco bell
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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