If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
