ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I need a hoe opinion
go on
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
