Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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