Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize