There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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