also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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