awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
