Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I look better un-naked...
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
