We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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