you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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