ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Come see our sink grown plant.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
