whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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