he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
