The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Ladies don't puke and tell
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
