WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
