Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Randomize
