I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
