as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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