Well apparently he's into motor boating.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Randomize
