Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
