This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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