Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize