and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
