wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize