Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It's rum buckets o'clock
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
