Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
