It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
