If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize