Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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