Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
