He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
