If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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