I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
