I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
she told me i tasted like america
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
