all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
