my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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