i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
