and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
