i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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