i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
and you fell through a lawn chair
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
