Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
