He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
