He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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