is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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