I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
