Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
