She's JV to your varsity
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
where am i from again
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize