Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
