I heard we made out
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
