hotel room ftw
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
i think im in europe. pls send help
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
