chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
