Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
