plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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